Honest Advice
“Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you.”
Written solely (and soulfully) by Billy Joel, “Honesty” offers up lyrical commentary on the loneliness one may encounter when seeking relationship with someone we can believe.
He sings about the lack of, and need for, honesty in all relationships.
“I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don’t want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe.”
Because Honesty is so hard to find, many people settle for security and the illusion of comfort, if they are willing to compromise.
“I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know.”
Personally, I would rather base my Foundation on Truth and sleep in a tent, than live in a house of lies with the illusion of security.
Alone if need be.
This week found me having a Very Ugly “break-up” with someone I considered a pretty close friend, and it was all about Honesty, or lack thereof…
We met online via a year long course of a spiritual nature. From forum chats to Facebook friends, then e-mail into text and phone, we bonded over our shared commitment to spiritual growth.
We provided support and encouragement to each other through shared articles that were uplifting and informative relating to the planetary shifts we were witnessing, and the topic of “ascension.”
We had many written and live conversations and discussions about how we were doing, and how we were relating to it all in our daily lives.
In April I made a Huge Commitment to Art (more on that in future blogs), and it changed the dynamics of our relationship.
My world was suddenly bursting with color that pulsed through the very essence of my being. I felt vibrantly alive, and found the voice I had shushed most of my entire life in order to get by in our black and white world.
About that same time my friend stopped reading the articles we had previously frequently shared.
I was no longer on Facebook, and We were growing worlds apart.
Added to that my colorful language was viewed with prejudice and rigid definition.
Here is an Excellent Example of how my whimsy was met with a slap in the face:
Me: Good Monday to You!! I hope you are having a Brilliantly Blessed Day!!
Her: I don’t know what you’ve been doing all day, but it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon here!
Me: Right, that’s why I said, “Good Monday!”
Eventually after being rebuked at worst or ignored at best, I no longer felt comfortable initiating contact.
For a while I would be her friend when she reached out to me, but that didn’t feel very good. It was confusing, and I started to feel used.
This week found me reviewing all of the contacts in my phone, determining who I could Trust and who I could call upon in times of need. I realized she was no longer someone I could call upon, deleted her from my contacts, and decided to let her know (in my colorful lyrical language).
While I would Love to share that e-mail, it does not feel right to do so. I basically said it seemed that we had grown apart, and felt like the distance could only be traversed with clear and considerate communication.
To that end, I went on to say I removed her from my contact list, and suggested perhaps in the future we could use e-mail should she wish to converse with understanding. I also hinted she likely felt the distance as well, and the e-mail probably came as a relief.
She wrote back that she had just been busy the last few weeks…and blah blah blah….
Lies disguised as socially acceptable excuses.
My response?
“I can understand why you might Think that. The distance has been growing since April. It does not happen in two weeks. And therein lies the challenge.”
To which she responded, “Well, if I were being honest, since April…” and proceeded to blame me for Everything, finishing up with, “I feel like I am being dumped because I didn’t live up to your expectations.”
Completely hurt to realize everything I felt coming from her was true, topped off by the fact that she lied just that very day in her first e-mail, my response was Brutal!!!
It began with, “Well, you Could Have Been Honest since April,” and ended with, “But if you need to be perfect and place all the blame on me, you can be assured you are totally living up to my expectations!”
And then I blocked her e-mail address.
Like I said, Honesty is important to me and, to tell the truth, I don’t find it lonely.
It feels much better to have an honest relationship with myself, than one that is false with another. I have never felt more strongly the importance of the meaning within the words,
“To Thine Own Self Be True.”
Defining the Zen Tarot Card, “Aloneness,” OSHO states,
“When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues.”
OSHO goes on to describe Loneliness as the absence of the other, and Aloneness as the presence of oneself.
The truth is, My Presence IS a Gift, Art will Always be in the Picture, and Fluffy is the Love of My Life!!
Honesty is not a lonely word at all. It is the door through which True Love is able to Enter!!
Namaste’
Robin (aka Fluffy’s Mom)
fluffy's mom 